The NEAAAT Times

     I am offended. You people are apparently so tired of me that you decided, “Hey lets only submit 12 responses!” Listen, I put little to no effort in these things! At least, show some respect for that. It takes no thought or consideration to do these columns! Learn your manners. I’m done with my rant now. Here’s the advice you don’t care for.

 

how do i get a gf?

     First start with capitalizing the beginning of sentences and the letter I. Then maybe don’t use abbreviations like “gf”, then don’t ask a sarcastic advice column for actual advice. Then you still won’t get one you will just be less of an idiot.

 

can you plz put a no button

     According to my research…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bananas may or may not be taking over. Bananas are very dangerous, but filled with potassium, and by eating bananas, you can stop their uprising.

     I don’t know what to say for this. The google definition for bananas is the following:

"A long curved fruit that grows in clusters and has soft pulpy flesh and yellow skin when ripe."

     It doesn’t say that it’s alive. Then again, it doesn’t say it ISN’T alive… sooooo… fair point.

 

Ur a booty.

You did your research.

 

Help me I'm being murdered.

Then I supose I’m a little late. Well good luck.

 

Why do you keep asking us if we need advice if its always sarcastic homie?

1. I’m not your homie.

2. Use an apostrophe.

3. That’s the point of the column.

 

Why are women terrible?

     Okay now, if I answer this, AT ALL, then I will offend nearly everyone alive. EVERYONE. So I will avoid answering this with the comedy I normally would.

 

I want to wear a pancake on my head but I'm not sure which brand I should use.

     Mrs. Butter-Worths. Great for your hair.

 

halp me what is 2+4/8? I cant figure out mah ath homework halp me pls

     Oh my… why… what is “mah ath?” What is “halp?” Also do you mean 2+(4/8)? or (2+4)/8? Two different things.

 

How can you make a math teacher understand how you learn please be sarcastic bc i hate this school rn

     I would imagine you tell her how you learn. Seems simple to me. Think these things through people…

 

oh;ouvfidlfoglih;on.,bjvhdukfitguh

     That’s it, I’m resigning.